I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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