Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
