even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
