it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
