I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
