So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Randomize
