Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
