she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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