You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
