fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
