Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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