like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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