areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Randomize
