I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
