drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
