He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Randomize
