Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
