Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
