Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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