Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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