May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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