This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
