i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
