Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
