Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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