Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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