Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
