I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
My vagina is very pro this idea
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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