are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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