I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
