I think I am morally bankrupt
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize