If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
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