We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
false alarm. still invincible.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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