Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
