My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
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