we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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