I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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