i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
