i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
