I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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