turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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