that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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