We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
