He is such a slut. More and more my type.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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