? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
