somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
