Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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