Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
