I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
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