What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
