he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
