I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
