I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
