After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
