I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Girls should come with a carfax report
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
You've changed since you got that strap on
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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