Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
