I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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